Favorite Music & Movies

Top 11 Albums

1)       Soul Coughing "Ruby Vroom". To me, this album manages to capture urban grittiness, the melody within the city's movements, romantic angst, and a beatnik sensibility. In a word, cool. Also, Doughty's voice has a particular way of exploring the English language that just makes me want to cuddle up with a speaker and follow his cadences.

2)       Lloyd Cole either "X" or the retrospective of his work with the Commotions--"1984-1989". One of the best songwriters working in popular music, Lloyd's musings on romance and women just made sense in my 20s. Now they remind me of my younger self. If you like lyrics in music then you should like Lloyd.

3)       The Smiths "Louder Than Bombs". While my first Smiths purchase was "The Queen Is Dead," this album has examples of what I consider quintessential Smiths goodness: wit, literary references, great guitar work, depressing lyrics with pleasant melodies, excellent bass work, and dark humor. The Morrissey, Marr combination was deadly.

4)       Beth Orton "Pass In Time: The Definitive Collection". There is a synergy between her voice and the songwriting that moves me to a place of unbelievable appreciation for the world.

5)       The Eurythmics "Touch." Annie Lennox has an incredible voice and Dave Stewart writes great music. Combine these elements with an 80's sense of exploration and you get one of the best works of the decade.

6)       Rush "Chronicles". I suppose there are those who mock this band, but few groups are as proficient with their instruments, as thoughtful with their lyrics, and as able to rock out as this group. If you doubt me, listen to the song "Subdivisions" and remember that only three people are in the band.

7)       Fleetwood Mac "Greatest Hits". Maybe you feel that greatest hits records are cheating, but I don't. Besides, this is my list, and I could have been evil and picked favorite songs, which would be even longer. Besides, the Mac has lots of great work, this just happens to have most of the stuff I like. Fleetwood Mac is an instance when all members of the band seem to work well together. This is all the more surprising when you consider all of the pairings that had occurred between band members. I think their work represents the best of the 70s: an undefined feeling of love that snuck out of the 60s, fantasy, good harmonies, a focus on sexual and romantic love, and drama. Besides, Lindsey Buckingham's guitar playing kicks ass, as does Stevie's voice.

8)       John Adams "Century Rolls" with Emanuel Ax on piano. Contemporary classical music can be powerful and nuanced, and this album manages to do both so well that I became interested in the genre from just this album alone.

9)       Zero 7 "Simple Things". I love electronic music, but this album managed to take electronica and fuse it to soul and R&B. The results, thanks to a trio of amazing singers, are satisfying.

10)   Richard Thompson "Mirror Blue". Acclaimed by many to be the best songwriter working in popular music, Richard Thompson is a genius at his art. He is an amazing guitar player, a writer of wonderful dramatic monologues, and a really clever fellow. If you don't know his work then you don't understand how good popular/folk music can be in the hands of a master.

11)   R.E.M "Murmur". Though I don't always know what Stipe is singing, I want to. And I certainly love their sound at this early point in their career. Here is an anecdote that makes my point: Traveling back from a conference with friends we were discussing music and tried to come up with bands that anyone we knew had to like, otherwise the friendship would always be flawed. Everyone in the car picked R.E.M., and this album is the one for me.

Top Films (More than 11, but less than 20)

French:

Jeunet & Caro's "The City of Lost Children". A visually stunning adult fairy tale of a film, replete with a Lolita complex, existential crises, and interesting explorations of the postmodern condition.

Mathieu Kassovitz's "La Haine".  I have never seen racism, urbanization, and poverty explored as naturalistically. This film seems to predict the somewhat recent Paris riots, and packs such a visceral charge that it will stop your breath.

French & Polish:

Krzysztof Kieslowski's "Red". Kieslowski, though Polish, worked in France; his three colors trilogy is an exploration of the French flag, or rather the qualities that those colors represent. Red is fraternity, or brotherhood, which is interestingly and abstractly explored in the film. This movie concludes with one of the most haunting visuals I know. I also love the Beckettesque quality to the narrative.

German:

Wim Wenders' "Wings of Desire". A minimalist masterpiece about the lives of angels who covet the mortal experience. Thematically and visually captivating.

English:

Tom Stoppard's "Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead". The wittiest film of which I know. Great dialogue, wonderful acting, and intelligent humor make this movie pure brilliance.

Ukraine:

Leonid Boyko and Vyacheslav Krishtofovich's "Priyatel Pokoynika" [A Friend of the Deceased]. A gripping narrative about the transition from socialism to capitalism in the Ukraine. The existential question and issues of moral responsibility are brought together in this film very impressively.

Italian:

Michelangelo Antonioni's "L'Avventura". When I saw this film in college it changed my life and my appreciation of film. Antonioni uses such a poignant visual language that his meanings come as much from the images as the sparse dialogue. Simply beautiful to watch, but disquieting.

American:

Jim Jarmusch's "Dead Man". The apogee of the revisionist western; Jarmusch nicely problematizes westward expansion in these 121 minutes. Staring Johnny Depp and Gary Farmer, with music by Neil Young, and cameos by all manner of famous folk, how can it not be good?

Martin Ritt's "Hud". Another take on the western, this time set in Texas in the early 60s. Paul Newman is at his best here, and the supporting cast is more than equal to his efforts. Beautiful cinematography, great dialogue, and unflinching in its tight focus on the tensions caused by differences in generations and the meaning of forgiveness.

Robert Redford's "A River Runs Through It". Redford captures Norman Maclean's poetic language, from which the story is taken, and his love of Montana scenery. A WASPish film, but in the best sense. If you don't like Brad Pitt, you may end up changing your opinion after watching this film.

Walt Disney's "Fantasia". The original film was meant to explore the connections between sound and image, and did so, albeit in a formulaic 40s era manner. Still, I fell in love with some of the segments as a child, and I still hold them dear to this day.

Steven Soderbergh's "Sex, Lies, and Videotape". A compelling tale of romantic and sexual dysfunction in the American context. One of the highlights of my freshman year at college was seeing this film.

Lisa Cholodenko's "High Art". A moving examination of the intertwined dangers of ambition and attraction. Ally Sheedy's performance is remarkable.

Francis Ford Coppola's "Apocalypse Now". Connections between brutality, horror, humanity, war, and allegiance are intensely explored. I know of no person who does not remember something from this film. It may have been a nightmare to film, but the results are anything but.

Whoa: How did I miss this?

Bookie: How did I not know about this? Where have I been. No lengthy blog entry here--I want details.

A Southern Belle's Decisions

I appreciate the philosophy of critiquing the current self in order to achieve goals and a higher quality of life. I think that we are, of course, people of the past & the present and that our life decisions (good or bad) shape the course of life. I find it useful to consider my current self, and my decisions, and how such an evaluation can transform the way I live my daily life.

When considering my past decisions, I have realized that I tend to make decisions based on my gut feeling. Sounds like an oversimplification, I know, but, quite honestly, my gut tends to be right. I have reflected on this recently as I have been faced with some difficult decisions over the past couple of years. In my reflection I have learned a pattern about myself that I was not so certain about a couple of years ago: When I ignore my gut instinct, I regret it. This may be the case for most people, and maybe I should have discovered this pattern before the age of 28, but clarity does come with some trial & error. When faced with a difficult relational decision, I listened to my gut when it was telling me he wasn't right. Although it took me some time to heal, I am confident about that decision. When contemplating a recent living situation, my gut said the same thing: 'This isn't right, get yourself out of this.' I ignored this one and my life has been full of challenges since.

More recently, I grappled with a job decision. My gut was very strongly telling me 'Don't take it. Don't take it.' However, the pressure was high and I have always been somewhat of a push-over, so saying no and standing up for myself has always been a challenge, particularly when the people around me are saying 'Go for it!' I stayed up all night one night grappling with this - Should I go? Should I wait for something else? And, honestly, it came down to listening to my gut again. I knew that if I went I would regret it, and I couldn't let myself do that and I knew I couldn't live with myself if I did.

Even more recently I was presented with a similar job decision. Except, this time, my gut was telling me: 'Take it! You better take it! This is right!' So, I am very happy to report that I will be moving to the University of Tennessee!! I am still in shock that I will be moving to Tennessee (I had never even been to the state before the interview), but I am confident that it is the right place for me right now and I couldn't be happier.

Maybe I will meet that southern gentleman after all :-)

Reasons?

I am not sure that experiences happen for a reason or purpose beyond our immediate knowledge. In fact, I wonder if the question is really just an easy way for us to lose focus on those things that matter--our living and deciding upon certain courses of action over others. I think the best strategy is often to understand that the individuals we are at any given moment are the result of accidents and choices that are in the past. The point, at least for me, is to question myself as to whether or not I enjoy the person I am at any given moment. If not then I need to make a different set of choices so that I can feel comfortable about the person I believe myself to be. This discussion is an incredible oversimplification of a rather complex idea. Still, too much looking backs means one cannot properly project one's self into the future. I fear I sound a bit too much like my own father here. In closing I would say this: Whatever the reasons that things happen, let me have the humility to critique my older selves and my past choices in hopes of continually transforming myself in ways that satisfy my better urges and benefit the lives of those around me.

Curiosity

Regarding my last post, I am not necessarily regretful about my graduate school decision; however, I am curious where life would have taken me had I not continued on. Graduate school has afforded me many opportunities that would never otherwise happened. I have grown personally and intellectually. I believe that things do happen for a reason and one day I will look back and see (with clarity) why this path was chosen. I am grateful for the many opportunities, but continue to be uncertain where this road will take me.

On a very random aside, I had very vivid nightmares this past weekend after viewing the film Taken. I find it fascinating that real-life occurrences pop up in dreams.

Why Regret?

I decided to come to Illinois for several reasons, but most of all I came to "finish" myself. By this I mean I felt there were things I felt I should learn both about the social world and my own person. There has been no regret for going to school, though the manner that I have progressed could be improved. Still, to play with Bookie's last posting, I don't know if the metaphor of the road is the issue, rather how we walk it. The challenge of the road's rise has done much for me, though I have not always appreciated such strain in the immediacy. What, dear Bookie, have you learned from your stride down this chosen path? For myself, the old, worn out boots of my former self were result enough.

Life

Do you ever wonder the impact of your decisions? I often imagine what my life would look like had I not decided to attend graduate school. Where would I be living? What would I have done with the last 6 years? It's funny how seemingly small decisions can change the entire course of life. I do know that graduate school has afforded me a number of great opportunities; however, I wonder what opportunities I have passed up by staying.

Someone recently asked me if I would advise her to go back to school and get a PhD. I honestly did not know what to say. In some respects, it is a good thing, as I think it forces people to grow up. But, as my advisor recently described, it is a slog. It is not the path for everyone, and I often wonder if I made the right decision 4 years ago.

Right or wrong, I am here, stumbling my way through my 'last' semester. My hope is that one day I will look back at this slog with pride and nostalgia.