I appreciate the philosophy of critiquing the current self in order to achieve goals and a higher quality of life. I think that we are, of course, people of the past & the present and that our life decisions (good or bad) shape the course of life. I find it useful to consider my current self, and my decisions, and how such an evaluation can transform the way I live my daily life.
When considering my past decisions, I have realized that I tend to make decisions based on my gut feeling. Sounds like an oversimplification, I know, but, quite honestly, my gut tends to be right. I have reflected on this recently as I have been faced with some difficult decisions over the past couple of years. In my reflection I have learned a pattern about myself that I was not so certain about a couple of years ago: When I ignore my gut instinct, I regret it. This may be the case for most people, and maybe I should have discovered this pattern before the age of 28, but clarity does come with some trial & error. When faced with a difficult relational decision, I listened to my gut when it was telling me he wasn't right. Although it took me some time to heal, I am confident about that decision. When contemplating a recent living situation, my gut said the same thing: 'This isn't right, get yourself out of this.' I ignored this one and my life has been full of challenges since.
More recently, I grappled with a job decision. My gut was very strongly telling me 'Don't take it. Don't take it.' However, the pressure was high and I have always been somewhat of a push-over, so saying no and standing up for myself has always been a challenge, particularly when the people around me are saying 'Go for it!' I stayed up all night one night grappling with this - Should I go? Should I wait for something else? And, honestly, it came down to listening to my gut again. I knew that if I went I would regret it, and I couldn't let myself do that and I knew I couldn't live with myself if I did.
Even more recently I was presented with a similar job decision. Except, this time, my gut was telling me: 'Take it! You better take it! This is right!' So, I am very happy to report that I will be moving to the University of Tennessee!! I am still in shock that I will be moving to Tennessee (I had never even been to the state before the interview), but I am confident that it is the right place for me right now and I couldn't be happier.
Maybe I will meet that southern gentleman after all :-)
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